Given the fact that I spent June 21-July 11th moving as little as possible, and the 12th through the 22nd needing the assistance of first a walker, and then a crutch, you would think that I would have plenty of time to post to my blog. Clearly that did not happen. I will say that recovering from an ankle brake and surgery is not fun. The 10 days between the day I broke my ankle and the actual surgery were terrible. I had a splint during that time, which was itchy and uncomfortable, but that only became an issue in the second half of that span. First I had to deal with the horrible swelling, massive bruising up the top of my calf alot higher than you would think for an ankle brake, and a significant amount of pain. Matters were not improved by the fact that narcotic pain medicines make me sick, at worst causing vomiting and at best making me feel like I am going to vomit and being very woozy.
Surgery day was as good as you can expect when you consider that I am irrationally scared of having an IV put in. I have conquered my issues with shots and having blood drawn, but IVs definitely scare the bejezus out of me. I am not scared of being put under either. Just the stupid IV. I actually worked myself up so much that I almost passed out when they put it in. And the ironic part is that the nurse was amazing and it was the least painful IV I have EVER had. It actually hurt less than the blood they had to draw afterward, the one that I was completely calm for.
They tried to give me a nerve block before surgery for pain management post-surgery. For those of you who are not familiar, a nerve block is a cousin to the epidural, but more localized. In this case they were aiming for a set of nerves at the top of my calf that they could numb for up to 3 days. This does however, involves several shots of a local anesthetic, then an electrical current that is used to make the nerves jump so the doctor can locate them, and then a very, very large needle to actually inject the anesthetic to the nerves. They gave me a wonderful cocktail of happy drugs to make this process less traumatic (one of the anesthesiologists actually referred to it as my personal pitcher of margaritas), and ultimately gave me some other meds as they went through the procedure. I remember this, but mostly in the way you kind of remember doing something dumb while intoxicated and a friend telling you about it afterwards. Unfortunately, they could not find the nerves they were looking for easily, and they decided it wasn't worth the pain I was dealing with to try and continue. So no nerve block. Of course, I was so hopped up on drugs I was not particularly upset about this. Eli said that once he came back to the room (they made him leave for the procedure) that one of the techs asked what medicines I had been given, and when told he looked at me and with disbelief said, "and she is still awake?", to which the same anesthesiologist who gave me my pitcher of margaritas said, "oh yeah, she can hold her liquor."
Shortly after that they rolled me into surgery. I remember helping to get on the operating table and seeing the friendly guy that was going to put me under. The next thing I remember is coming to and my ankle THROBBING. I couldn't even open my eyes. I know I spoke out loud and told whoever was nearby that it hurt, and I know that they moved around me to give me pain meds. I have no idea how long I was in that recovery area before they moved me back to a room, but I know a nurse was beside me most of the time because she would have to remind me to breath every few minutes because I was so drugged up that I was breathing too slowly and my pulse ox machine was sounding an alarm. Once they moved me to a private recovery room, Eli came back and I remember him telling me that Dr. Maynard had spoken with him and said everything went very well and there were no complications. I was happy, but so out of it that I didn't really think about it much. I did register that I had a walking boot on rather than a cast, and that did stick with me- I had expected to have to be in a hard cast for a while before moving to a walking boot.
Again I have no idea how much time passed, but way sooner than I thought was reasonable they wanted me to get up and walk around with the physical therapist. I was not happy about this since I couldn't even keep my eyes open. The therapist tried to give me a little time, and talked about using a walker instead of crutches, which we all agreed would be better. I know I whined and pouted about getting up, and told them all repeatedly I didn't think I could, but eventually they got me out of bed. I wasn't worried about my ankle; honestly I couldn't really feel it at that point. I was afraid that I was so woozy from the drugs that I would collapse and make everything worse. Thankfully that did not happen, though a few steps in I did have to sit down and be sick into a bowl because of all the drugs.
They let me go back to the bed pretty quickly after that, and started getting me dressed to go home. Things seemed to move really fast, but that was probably just the drugs. I don't remember the drive home really, and I have only a vague recollection of getting into the house. Once in bed I tried to call everyone who I know was waiting for news, but my throat was killing me from the tube they had put in for the surgery. So I would call someone and then pass out for a while, call someone else and pass out again. I repeated this routine several times, and have since learned that I called people I don't really remember calling. That night Eli brought me Panera grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup, of which I ate almost none, and I took some medicine and went to bed.
All of that happened on July 1st. The next couple of days are not very memorable for me between the pain meds and sleeping alot. Dad came back on his way home from Morehead and stayed another night, and then Daphne came in on the 5th. She brought presents with her in the form of a replacement tv and a new dresser for our spare room. I know I was feeling better by the time she got here because I made her a lemon goo cake for her birthday ( a few days late) and she was surprised that I was not more pathetic than I was. I still couldn't do much at that point. I was on the walker and still got tired pretty quickly. Daphne took over most of the things Eli had been doing so that he didn't have to miss any work. It was a life-saver. That next Thursday, the 8th, I had an appointment with Dr. Maynard, where I found out I could put some weight on the ankle (no more than 50%, and try to stay around 33%) and that everything looked good. I was to come back in two weeks for another follow-up appointment.
Daphne and I got along surprisingly well for two people with radically different personalities who have never lived in the same space for more than 2 weeks, and who certainly have never spent so much forced time together. I would be lying if I said it was all sunshine and unicorns, but we never had any actual fights and the bad moods were spread fairly evenly between the two of us. On the two weekends she was here she spent most of her time downstairs while Eli and Will and I stayed upstairs, which I think was a very smart decision. I gradually improved over those two weeks; I started staying out in the living room during the day more while Will was awake, started feeding him again, and started spending some time in the floor with him. Monday the 12th I got the staples out and Sarah (the nurse) told me I could take normal showers as long as i didn't put too much weight on the leg. This was HUGE for me, I had been making due with sponge baths (with the exception of one shower taken with a garbage bag and various other barriers on my boot the Friday before the staples came out) and showering like a normal person did huge things for my morale. (I should also note that we had no internet access for basically that entire week which probably also contributed to my not posting any blogs.)
On the other hand, this slow but steady improvement had a downside in that I became extremely impatient to be able to do things normally. Any of you who have ever had to rely on others to do things you would normally do yourself are aware of how uncomfortable it can be. I already felt bad that Eli and Daph were having to do so much for me that I didn't want to ask more of them, so I sat with things in my head that I wanted done but knew wouldn't get done. It is so frustrating to be in that situation, because nothing seems normal or comfortable, or like it belongs to you anymore. Anytime I did break down and ask I felt resentful and nitpicking and the same time, which also did not help my mood. Unfortunately Eli got the brunt of this bad mood when it escaped (though Daph got her fair share too) and this led to lots of little squabbles between Eli and I. Thankfully he was understanding and I was aware of the cause so we didn't get beyond squabbling, but still, that is no fun for anyone.
Will had a hard time adjusting to everything, and it manifested itself in multiple ways. He still wasn't back to sleeping though the night, he wasn't napping like he should, he was not listening to anyone and getting into everything he knows he isn't supposed to. Suddenly my good little guy who I could usually handle easily on my own was being just about too much for two adults to handle. Thankfully after the first 4 days Daphne was here he finally started sleeping better, and the other behavior started to come back down to normal as well. He was definitely mad at me for a while after the fall because I had to suddenly stop nursing, which upset both of us. I think for him it was more of a rejection issue than a nutritional one, but he was pretty anti-Momma for a little while. Thankfully that has finally gone away too.
So the week leading up to to my appointment on the 22nd I was pushing my limits a little bit. I was down to walking with just one crutch, and occasionally limping around small areas without even that, which earned me dirty looks and comments from Daph and Eli. I was just so ready to be able to do more and not have the stupid boot on anymore. On the 22nd, I got the most wonderful news from Dr. Maynard. He looked at my x-rays and told me things looked great and that I would be getting a smaller air cast instead of the boot, and I could now put full weight on the ankle!!! I was over the moon! The smaller cast is amazing and so much easier to get around with. I was also told after an adjustment period to make sure I was stable that I was allowed to carry Will around again. This meant that I could take care of him again on my own!!!! Daph stayed around until Saturday morning to make sure everything was good, and then she headed home. Meanwhile, our friends Ali and Justin came in on the 23rd and stayed for the weekend which was so much fun! We played games and hung out and had a great time. They left Sunday night, and for the first time in almost a month Eli and I had the house to ourselves again. It was amazing to feel like things were really getting back to normal.
So that pretty much brings me to now. Yesterday was my first day alone with Will since the fall and it went really well. I was pretty tired at the end of it, but we didn't have any problems at all. Today has been the same. We are getting more company tomorrow by way of Robbin and Olivia, and I am really looking forward to seeing them. Eli is also glad they will be here, and for the additional reason that they can help me some during the day. He is very concerned that I don't do too much too quickly. I am still in the air cast and will be until at least my next appointment with Dr. Maynard, which is on the 13th. I still can't drive. I still walk with a significant limp, and every step hurts. But things are improving all the time, and my recovery is on the fast track.
