My Giant Little Baby

So today we had our 28-week appointment, and an ultrasound to get a size estimate.  I love any opportunity to  see my little guy, and today we had the added bonus of getting a 3D photo of Ben's face.  We never had a 3D image of Will, so it was very exciting to see one of Ben.  His little face is so cute!  His eyes were closed and his little lips were all puckered up.  He put on a bit of a show for the ultrasound tech, rolling and kicking whenever she would get a good shot.  It seems he never stops moving!

For those of you who don't remember, Will was an exceptionally large baby.  10 lb, 7 oz at birth.  Yes, I did type that correctly.  There is a reason my son came through the sun roof.  And before you ask me in your head, no, I did not have gestational diabetes, and Will had no blood sugar issues after birth.  He was just a big baby.  He has never been below the 99th percentile in height, though his weight percentile has been on a gentle decline throughout his life.  All these factors are the reason I had an ultrasound today.  My doctor, whom I love dearly, made an educated guess that our next child could likely be large.  And since I was hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) delivery, keeping up with the size of this child is important.

So we got in the ultrasound room and our tech started getting measurements.  Two pictures in she said, "Yeah Mom, he is going to be big".  And I just sort of sighed and rolled with it.  As she continued to take measurements we got to see our perfect little guy.  She commented multiple times on how good everything looked, and when I asked she pointed out that there was no fat accumulated on the baby.  She indicated several areas where fat pads develop later in pregnancy, and there was no fat to find, which was fabulous news.  If there had been fat accumulation she would have been concerned about my blood sugar.  She told me, "you have no control over this.  It is genetic- you just make big babies".  The best part was I knew she was telling me the truth.  I love our ultrasound tech as much as our doctor, and while she is a lovely, kind woman, she would have no problem telling me if she thought something wasn't right.

So at this point Ben is measuring 4 weeks larger than he is.  After the ultrasound I had my regular appointment, which also went well.  We decided that unless something changes pretty significantly in the next month, we are going to have another c-section.  I am a little sad about this, but I know that my safety and Ben's is most important.  And the up side is that if we do have a c-section I can schedule it a week before my due date- makes things easier on me and gives Ben one less week to become giant-sized in my womb.

I am a little bummed about how things have turned out because I have been working so hard to exercise and control my weight-gain with this pregnancy, and ultimately it didn't change the outcome.  I don't regret the work because of the health benefits we have both received, but it is frustrating not to be able to control this more.  On the other hand, I do not feel guilty.  When I found out Will was big, I was devastated, and felt so guilty.  I transferred a lot of my unhappiness about my body image and weight to guilt that I was making Will unhealthy, which turned out to be completely wrong, but I couldn't see that until much later.  This time I know I have done everything I could to be healthy, and I can hear what my doctors are telling me and know it to be the truth.  Eli sat there today and kept smirking at me and wiggling his eyebrows and when I would ask him what he was doing he would crow about making big strapping boys and swelling with macho pride. I am taking my cue from him and will proudly tell anyone interested about my giant little baby.