Exercise!

I procrastinate, I make excuses, and I have sudden brief physical ailments- all to avoid exercising.  It makes no sense whatsoever, because I always feel SO GOOD when I have finished exercising.  I am proud of myself as well as feeling energized and satisfied.    When I have worked out, my general behavior is always more healthy- I eat better, I drink more water, I am generally more active.  I know I am not alone in this- but it still amazes me.  

Before my pregnancy, I had mental and physical breakthrough.  With my blood pressure and cholesterol way too high, and the number on the scale beyond embarrassing, I looked my doctor in the eye and said, "I am going to do this".  I have said that many times, and each time failed.  But in that moment a switch flipped.  I wanted to have a baby and I knew my health was reducing my chances of even becoming pregnant, let alone having a safe and healthy pregnancy.  

So I joined a well known program online, and began exercising.  As anyone who has lost weight in a healthy way knows, the numbers do not just melt off the scale.  It was a 2-4 lb a week slog.  But for the first time I wasn't discouraged when I got on the scale.  Also, I made myself accountable to other people.  For the first time ever I was completely honest with my husband, family and friends about my weight and health.  It was mortifying, but I knew that my motivation would need to come from multiple avenues, and they would be one of them.  They surprised me in their lack of judgment and their abundance of support.  I shouldn't have been surprised, but when you are ashamed of yourself you assume others will be ashamed too.

The results were wonderful.  In 3 months I lost 30 lbs.  I felt fantastic, and I wasn't even to my ultimate goal.  I was wearing clothes that had been regulated to the back of the closet and I no longer had to worry about that dreaded double chin in photos.  More importantly, I knocked more than 100 points off of my cholesterol and my blood pressure returned to that perfect 120/80.  My ultimate goal had been to lose 50 lb before getting pregnant, but circumstances intervened and we got pregnant a little sooner than expected.  

All through the pregnancy I worried about weight gain, though my doctors assured me that I was doing extremely well and gaining the appropriate amount of weight.  In the last two months I ballooned out but was assured it was water not actual weight gain.  I prayed my doctor was right.  I was absolutely squishy by the time I had Will.  In the two weeks after he was born I literally dropped 40 lbs- a confirmation I that was a walking water balloon for quite a while. 

Since Will's birth I have had exercise and weight loss on my mind.  At first I was determined I would begin a hardcore routine as soon as I got the clear at 6 weeks.  After all, for the first time I knew with absolute certainty that I am capable of reaching my goal.  I did not take into account that caring for an infant would take everything out of me.  So Christmas came and went and I said, "Great! New Year, time to get on schedule!", and that is when the excuses began.  I started eating fairly well, though there were plenty of cheats, but I never really put any effort into exercising.  Through the miraculous gift of nursing I have managed to slowly drop a few more pounds, but I haven't really begun the work I need to do.  I am still 8 lb from my pre-pregnancy weight, and ideally I would like to lose another 40 lbs before we try for another baby.

So yesterday morning once Will laid down for his early morning nap, I put my exercise clothes on and hoped on our stationary bike.  It was a hard 30 minutes, but I felt SO GOOD afterwards.  Today, I tried belly dancing aerobics recorded from the Fitness channel.  30 minutes a day is my goal.  Less cheating on my food intake as well.  I have the time now, and I have the knowledge that I can do it.  I am accountable to myself and my little family.  I am also making myself accountable to you dear readers.  It is time to stop procrastinating and start working!