My Baby is Becoming a Little Boy

I have tried to deny it for a while now. I have ignored the signs, pretended not to see the changes. But like it or not, it has happened. My baby is becoming a little boy right before my eyes. It seems like it happened overnight, but truthfully he has been developing rapidly over the last couple of months. When we went to visit Dad at the beginning of April, he could barely scoot on his belly across a blanket to get to a toy. Over the month of April he got better and better at what Robbin calls, and I have stolen, the army man crawl. Belly on the floor, arms and legs working in unison to scoot himself rapidly across the floor. He finally started sitting up a little more as we went into May, ( a skill I was worried he would never master; turns out he was just too busy to sit still)and his motor skill development with his toys improved dramatically.

Then in mid-May we had the big game-changer. We took a trip to Morehead, and during that weekend he got to meet Max, son of Amy and Wayne, who is just over 3 months older than Will. Max could crawl like a champ, sometimes on his hands and feet rather than knees, and he could pull up to standing on any stationary object. Well, never let it be said that my son isn't competitive, because within the brief playtime they shared, Will took his first fully crawling steps, and managed to pull up on a music table belonging to Max. It was amazing. He had never made it past getting into the crawling position prior to this visit, let alone shown any signs of trying to pull up on something. Thank you Max for showing Will the way.

Now I truly have a rug-rat. Gone are the days that I could set him down for a minute to take something to the kitchen or run to grab something from his room and come back to find him in the general vicinity of where I left him. We have now entered the world of baby gates and child-proofing EVERYTHING and the word "NO". His almost simultaneous discovery of how to pull up to standing has also added to this interesting new child I live with. Seeing him stand without my help is a big sign slapping me in the face that my baby isn't so little anymore.

With all the freedom of movement and need to explore everything I have lost the little guy who was perfectly content to cuddle in Momma's lap. It is sad to realize that this is just the first tiny little taste of what will be the journey of independence my son will make away from me. It is a good journey, and so important for the man he will become, but it is also hard on me. I knew he wouldn't stay my little baby forever, but I wasn't prepared for how fast it would go. So I am a little sad sometimes to see how big he is already.

The upside is huge though. I have this expressive, energetic, inquisitive, funny, stubborn, smart little boy who makes me laugh all the time and causes me to see things so differently now. Everything is exciting for him, and as a result, for me. He wants to know what everything is, and wants to get his hands on it. It can be exhausting, but also stimulating. I appreciate things so much more. I look forward to little activities and new experiences equally. He makes life so much richer. I am so glad that I get to see the world through my little boy's eyes.

The Fall

Alright, so I dropped my little bombshell yesterday, and now it is time to explain. Monday was a very normal day. Will was up at 7am and played with me and his toys until 9am when he had his breakfast. At 10am he laid down for a nap, which normally lasts for about 2 hours, but on Monday was shorter, only about an hour and half. We had more playtime, lunch at noon, and nursing at 12:45. At about 1:30 I laid him back down for his second nap. I sat in the recliner in our living room and checked my email, surfed the net a bit, and chatted with a friend from Baltimore. I must emphasize that this was all completely normal and I felt fine all morning.

Shortly after 2:00, I heard Will wake up from his nap, again earlier than usual. I put the computer down and walked into his nursery. I did my usual talking to him while he stands up at the side of his crib and then picked him up and moved him to the changing table. After laying him down I was suddenly extremely hot and dizzy, my hearing was momentarily tinny and I remember thinking "Why do I feel like this?" I must have tried to steady myself by holding onto the changing table, but I then lost control of my limbs, stumbled around, and fell. I heard the bones in my left ankle snap, and I had the moment of simultaneously being horrified because I knew I had broken it, and hoping I was wrong and the sound I heard was something else. I grabbed my ankle and made some not very happy noises, and immediately looked up to see Will looking down at me from the edge of the changing table. I had to get him down. So I scooted over just a little to be able to reach him, and pulled him down to me. He was already upset because he had a dirty diaper, and now he was scared because I fell. I put him in the floor for a second and I processed what I needed to do, and he immediately started to crawl away from me and towards some cords. I grabbed him and got myself to the crib ( I am a little fuzzy on how exactly I did it). The first try of putting him in the crib I was still on my butt and couldn't reach far enough to get him in the crib. So I hooked my arm around his middle and got myself onto my knees (which hurt, well, ALOT) and was able to get him into the crib. Thankfully, once I got onto my knees it hurt less because there was less pressure on the ankle, and I think adrenaline had kicked in. I turned and crawled out of the nursery, down the short hallway and into the living room where my cell phone was sitting. I would love to say I did all this stoically and without a sound, but that would be a lie. I will say that it seems strange to me that while I definitely made some crying sounds, I didn't actually cry at that point. There were no tears and I wonder if that is just a typical trauma thing- lots of moaning and such but i didn't cry until later in the hospital. Anyway, I called Eli's lab and scared the life out of one of his co-workers telling her "It's Sam, I need Eli- its an emergency". I just didn't have time to explain. So she ran and got Eli very quickly and I gave him the gist- fell down, broke ankle, calling 911, Will is fine in the crib. He said ok and was off the phone. At this point my calm was disappearing pretty quick. I dialed 911 and got some general operator, and they transferred me to the medical operator. I got my address out first and then the rest of the information. As I talked to the operator I realized that the EMTs wouldn't be able to get in because the doors were locked, so I crawled over and unlocked the front door, and just laid there in the floor talking to the operator. I deteriorated pretty badly at that point. I don't remember the conversation very well but there was alot of moaning and worrying about Will, and then apologizing about doing both. The operator was wonderful and did her best to keep me as calm as possible.

The EMTs arrived and things got better very quickly. I of course did not want them to touch my ankle, which simply isn't realistic, and they ultimately got me in a foam splint and onto the gurney. There were three men, a middle-age man who was quiet but firm and the authority figure, a man who was probably in his mid-30's who was very friendly and kept me talking, and a man who had to be in his mid-20's who watched over Will. They were wonderful. When they were taking my vitals they sat Will down next to me and he instantly stopped crying and just looked at me and everything that was going on. They ended up packing him into his car seat and taking him with me in the ambulance. Will was so funny- his eyes were HUGE, but he didn't get scared or cry again, he just took it all in. They gave him a little teddy bear and he really seemed to like that.

The trip to the hospital was quick and uneventful. The EMT in his 30's talked to me during the ride, asked me some questions and even suggested that maybe I would be lucky and it would only be a bad sprain. In my mind I was thinking he was crazy, but to be fair there was no obvious deformity to my ankle and it hadn't started swelling when they were with me, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. As we were arriving they got a message from the ER that they were run over with people and that i might have to sit in a wheelchair and wait to be seen. The EMTs got me in the ambulance bay and into the hall, where a volunteer was waiting with a chair. The EMT who had talked to me during the ride took one look at that and said, "Hold on I will be right back". When he reappeared he said "Take her to room 8, I pulled some strings". I could have kissed him full on the mouth when he said that. I could not imagine trying to sit in a chair with my ankle like it was and trying to keep Will calm while he was strapped in his car seat. So they wheeled me into the room and helped me onto the bed. Then they disappeared. I wish I had gotten their names so I could send a big thank-you, but I do know which ambulance house they came from so I should be able to track them down.

Once in the room things continued to calm down. Will played in his car seat with a rattle I had in the diaper bag. The registration nurse came in to get my information, and I think she got interrupted at least three times just trying to get me registered. The x-ray tech came in and we had to move Will to the other end of the room to shield him from the machine. X-rays were not fun because we had to take the splint off and move my foot around. But she did it quickly and about the time she finished Eli made it to my room.

When Eli got there I did cry. And cry, and cry. I felt so guilty that I had done this stupid thing and that now things were going to be messed up for a long time. Eli was wonderful and calm, and told me it would be ok. He even joked that i would have something to write in the baby journal. He took Will out and got his diaper changed (finally!) and wrangled him the rest of the time. At some point the nurse practitioner came and said she was going to go over the film with one of the orthopedic guys and she would let me know. My regular nurse came in a few minutes later and said it was definitely broken- in two different places. I asked her if she thought I would need surgery and she said she didn't think so, just a cast. That was a huge relief to me as I was scared of surgery.

I guess we were in the room for about 2 hours total. They gave me some kind of super tylenol for pain, which did basically nothing, so a little later they gave me a shot of something that helped much more. The nurse practitioner then came back in and said that I would in fact have to have surgery, and they were sending me home in a temporary splint for the night and that I would need to come in and see the surgeon in the morning. Well after thinking I wouldn't need surgery this was terrible news and I got pretty upset. They got me up and into a wheel chair and rolled me to the door while Eli took Will to the car and pulled it up to get me. We needed to stop at Walgreens to fill my pain medicine prescription and rent some crutches (the hospital didn't have any to give me). Between the shot and being upset about surgery I had gotten fairly queasy and told the nurse so before we left, but I guess they didn't think it was serious because they didn't do anything. So in the car on the way to Walgreens all the sudden I realize I am going to be sick- NOW. I told Eli and he looked around the car frantically for something to catch it but there was nothing. I grabbed an old paper burp cloth that was in the side console and then got sick EVERYWHERE. It was terrible. It got all over me, my splint, the car, and even Eli. There was nothing to do but continue driving- changing course to the house. This was the breaking point for Eli. He had to this point handled everything with his typical calm, quiet manor. But watching me get sick on top of being badly hurt and being able to do nothing about it was just too much. He got very upset and looking back, if anyone happened to look into our car on that ride home I don't really know what they would have thought. It would not have been good, that is for sure.

We got home and Eli backed into the drive so I would be closest to the front door. He got out to open the front door and make sure I had a clear path to the bedroom. Meanwhile I opened the passenger door and continued to get sick all over the drive. The Exorcist had nothing on me. After I finished Eli brought me a new t-shirt so I wouldn't rub it all over him and anything else i might have to touch, and we threw the old shirt on the ground so I wouldn't step in my own sick. Now came the fun part. Because we had to change course, we did not have the crutches needed to get me from Point A to Point B. So Eli had to get on the side with the broken ankle and we had to do a strange hop/carry/dance routine to get me to the bed. It was pretty bad. But, we did make it and Eli even laid a towel on the bed so I could remove the rest of the soiled clothing, wipe off and change into fresh clothes. I managed to scoot into a normal prone position on the bed, and Eli brought me a garbage can in case I got sick again.

At that point Eli had to leave me to go get my medicine and crutches. I laid very still and just tried to be glad that I was back home and not in a hospital room for the night. I talked to some family and friends to let them know I was ok. I got sick a couple more times, but it wasn't as bad since I was home and had something to be sick into.

The rest of the night is actually a little fuzzy. Turns out strong narcotics make me sick AND loopy, so I was in and out a bit. I tried to eat some chicken nuggets to have something in my system when I took my first pain pill, but that didn't work. I finally just took a couple sips of a milkshake, took the pill, turned out the light and closed my eyes. Thankfully it worked, because I went to sleep and wasn't sick anymore.

The next morning was pretty quiet. I got up and moved to the recliner in the living room. I was still loopy from the medicine and scared of my stomach so I mostly drank 7up and had a piece of dry toast. We went to the doctor around 9:15 that morning. Poor Eli tried to get Will, his diaper bag, my purse, and me in a wheel chair into the building, but that just didn't' work. Luckily, he found a hospital volunteer to come help me in. It took a few minutes before I went back to an examination room, and I was pretty uncomfortable during that time. But we did go back before too long, and Dr. Maynard's nurse, Sarah, came in. She told me we would need to undo the splint so Dr. Maynard could look at the ankle, something I was not looking forward to at all. But she was very gentle and didn't mess with it too much, so it wasn't bad.

Dr. Maynard came in and said I would in fact need surgery. He explained that I would need a metal plate and several screws on one side, and a couple of screws on the other. I have an oblique fracture on one side and broke of the tip of the bone on the opposite side. When I fell, I broke my ankle out away from my body. ICK. Eli and I both asked him several questions and he was very patient and funny and answered all of them to our satisfaction. He drew me a diagram of what he needed to do, and went over all the risks and his techniques. He made me feel very comfortable. Because of the large amount of swelling I had, he said he wouldn't be able to operate until next week, and that I should come back and see him on Monday. He even wrote me a prescription for a different pain medicine to help with the sickness.

Then came the bad part. They needed to put me in a better, more stable splint since I was going to be in it for a week. Normally when they splint an ankle, they make the bottom of the foot flat. That wasn't possible in my case because of where the break is and the swelling. So this made fitting a splint very difficult, and as a result, very painful for me. After two tries, and me sobbing in pain, Sarah the nurse stopped and said "I can't do this to her again, I will be right back." She left the room and a minute later returned with Dr. Maynard. He took one look at the situation, and had a plan of action. He actually had me pull the fiberglass material into place while he and the nurse supported my leg, and because I was doing it I was able to get it where they wanted it and much tighter because I knew what hurt and how to move so that didn't happen. It was amazing the difference. They were able to wrap the splint in no time and i felt a million times better. I can tell you that my opinion of Dr. Maynard was raised even more after he took care of me that way.

So that is my dramatic story. I go back to see Dr. Maynard on Monday, and surgery will be either Wednesday or Thursday. Meantime i spend my time either in bed or in our recliner, though I have learned I can't spend much time in the recliner because my hip hurts. I did get the most beautiful flower arrangement from Eli's co-workers, and that really made my day brighter. Eli has been amazing, taking care of Will and me and getting office work done too. We are incredibly fortunate because we have people who are willing to help us. My Dad is coming this Monday and staying for 3 days to help so Eli can go back to work. I don't know if Dad realizes yet what he has gotten himself into, but we will survive and I really appreciate his coming. Then, the most fortunate thing is that Daphne is going to come stay with us. As long as we need her. I cannot tell you what this means to me and Eli. I can't really tell her either because I would get very emotional, which would just be weird for both of us. Needless to say it is incredibly generous, and takes away alot of the worries I had about the negative impact my accident would have on Eli's work and our finances. So now I am looking nervously towards surgery, and then a long recovery time. I am terrible at staying still for any amount time, so any suggestions for activities to keep me occupied would be welcome.

Catch Up

I fell off the face of the blogging planet about 2 1/2 months ago. I felt bad about it, but I was also happy because the reason I fell off was that I actually became busy! This was really good for me; I was becoming increasingly unhappy with my lack of activity to that point. Let me do a quick recap to bring things up-to-date.

My last post was in April and it was about the visit my sister and her family made to see us and our trip to the Arch. That visit actually happened in mid-March. The first weekend of April we went to visit my Dad in St. Joseph and had a really nice weekend trip. Eli and I even got to go on a date to Olive Garden, which we really enjoyed (we even took pictures of our desserts-it was that big of a deal).

A million things have happened with Will and his development, but I have decided to save that for a separate post so I don't leave anything out.

Mid-April we filed our taxes and were happy to get a pretty good return, which we put to work in many different ways. We saved some away for Will and our retirement, paid off some debt, did some major maintenance on my 8-year-old Concorde, and had some left over for home improvement. The home improvement was my favorite part. We decided to plant a vegetable garden in the back yard so Eli got the tools and seeds he needed to begin. We planted 8 small azalea bushes in the beds that run along the front of our house, and happily they seem to be doing very well. The most exciting stuff though was for the inside of the house. I may not have mentioned in this blog before the large amount of work we would like to do to our kitchen. Most of it is aesthetic, but it was in need of a major increase in counter space. We purchased 5 feet of base cabinets and counter top for a blank wall in our kitchen. I was incredibly excited about this addition to the kitchen. The new counter top literally quadrupled the amount of working space I had previously. Not to mention the amazing amount of storage the cabinets added. We were also able to purchase an exhaust fan for our kitchen (there was none when we moved in,nor any evidence that there ever had been one). This was a necessity for many reasons. The steam from cooking on our stove top would accumulate on our cabinet doors and drip back down-ick! Not to mention that I couldn't draw hot air out or strong smells like onions, garlic or fish. I cannot imagine how the previous owners of this house managed without an exhaust fan in the kitchen.

We were also able to purchase a new, baby-safe television stand for the upstairs living room and a much needed ceiling fan for our bedroom. It was so nice to be able to tackle some of these projects. It can be so frustrating to want to fix something and know it isn't terribly expensive, but still not have the extra money to do it. I know that Eli and I both felt like we managed to stretch our money to accomplish alot.

The first weekend in May we got company by way of Robbin and Brian Brooks and Daphne. Robbin and Brian stayed for the weekend and we had a really good visit. Nana Robbin got to play with Will as much as she wanted and that was alot of fun to watch. We got to grill out that weekend and introduced Robbin and Brian to the handmade bratwursts we can get from our local butcher. Robbin and Brian also brought us gifts when the came, in the form of 3 tables, a nightstand and 4 lamps. I cannot explain how happy I was to replace those wobbly, particle board round tables with real, honest-to-goodness wood tables. And anyone who knows me is aware of my love of lamps and my severe dislike of overhead lights (much to Eli's dismay) so the lamps were a major bonus. Daphne stayed with us through Thursday and actually helped Eli put in our new cabinets. She hung out with me and we did a little wandering around, but it was generally a quiet week.

The following Sunday was my first Mother's Day. Eli and Will gave me a wonderful and sweet day. I woke up that morning to the most delicious french toast, bacon and coffee. Daddy helped will make photocopies of his hands and feet to put in my card so I will always know how big he was on this day. I also got some fun kitchen gadgets- a really nice box grater and some flexible cutting mats that I had been pining for. It was a really special day and I enjoyed spending time with my guys.

Just 2 weeks later we took a trip to Morehead. Olivia Adkins was graduating from RCSHS this year and rather than go to graduation, she requested that we come see her in the school play. We were more than happy to do this, and we framed a 4- day weekend around the show. Liv was Lucy in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" and she was phenomenal. The entire production was wonderful, and I enjoyed getting to see some people I haven't seen in a LONG time. We stayed out at Park Lake for our visit, and that was a really nice bonus to the trip. It made everything seem more like an actual vacation for us, and was so relaxing. It can be hard to travel with a baby and stay at someone's house with them because it is inevitably disruptive for everyone involved. Being able to go back to a quiet, empty cottage at night made everything so much easier.

Memorial Day weekend was quiet and relaxing for us. We didn't travel and we didn't make any big plans. The Wednesday after Memorial Day I got to start something I was really excited about- ZUMBA!! I had heard so many people, including Kristi, go on about how much fun it was, and I was able to sign up for a fairly inexpensive class at the local YMCA. The first class kicked my butt, but I really enjoyed it. Coincidentally, the day I started that class, I also accidentally discovered the most wonderful park on the edge of town. I happened to be driving around with Will, just looking around some roads I hadn't traveled on before, and came upon West City Park. It is absolutely beautiful, and the answer to my long-standing wish for a good place to walk with Will. The park has 1.5 miles of uninterrupted walking path around several large ball fields and two large ponds. There are lots of geese and ducks for Will to watch, multiple large, well maintained playgrounds, and fishing in the ponds. It has quickly become one of our favorite places to go, and beginning that Thursday after Zumba I started walking with Will every morning.

The weekend after Memorial Day, Kristi and crew stopped over for a day on their way back from vacation at my Dad's. We took them for a picnic at the park, and Eli and Jeremy got to fish while Kristi played with Will and Liv made use of the playgrounds. We had a really good time. That night we were going pig out at Cici's, but as proof that Eli and I don't get out much, we arrived at the location to find out that Cici's had in fact been closed for some time, long enough for a new restaurant to be opened in the same space. After a quick debate we ended up taking them to Ryan's for dinner. They had never been to a Ryan's, and both Kristi and Jeremy's eyes' nearly popped out of their heads when they saw the size of the spread. We had a good, if quick, visit, and they headed back to Morehead the next day.

The following two weeks started a bout of bad luck for us. First, Eli accidentally shattered one of the panes of glass in our downstairs sliding glass door while weed eating. I had just looked out an upstairs window to check on him when I saw him charging up the hill of the yard at a brisk pace. I met him at the door to ask if he was alright, and he informed me of what happened. After a panicked attempt to cover the door because we were sure the rest of the glass would brake at any moment, we had the man who installed our windows last fall come by and give an estimate on a new door. It will cost a pretty penny, but the good news was that we could calm down because the rock that had shattered the first pane of glass had done no damage to the second pane so we have some wiggle room before we must replace the door this winter.

Next, the television in our upstairs living room died a quick, quiet death. We had been having picture problems for sometime, but weren't sure if they were related to the set or the satellite. It was definitely the set, as it just kicked off one night, made a strange humming sound and emitted a bad odor for the short time it took me to detect it and unplug the unit. We carried it outside to the carport just to be safe, and moved our little 19 inch television from the bedroom to the living room.

The third stroke of bad luck was that Eli had been working on an abstract to prepare it for a conference this fall and after a lot of hurried, hard work, his boss decided not to submit it for the conference at all. It was frustrating for him and for me because he had spent so much time on it.

Things seemed to ease up a bit after that and we thought our run of bad luck was over. This last weekend we took a trip to Dawson Springs to see Eli's family and had no problems. We had a nice visit with everyone and an uneventful trip home. Sunday was Father's Day, so Will and I got to give Eli his presents- a charcoal chimney for his grill and a tackle box now that he gets to do some fishing. We had a quiet afternoon to relax before Eli had to go back to work on Monday.

All of this catch up brings me to this week. I will write about the specifics of what happened this week in my next post. All I will say now is that the reason I suddenly have so much time to write a small book in my blog is that I am going to be off my feet for a long time. I fell on Monday and broke my ankle in two places. Ouch. More tomorrow.